-Oprah Winfrey
*New Years Eve is always an interesting day. It’s a day of saying goodbye to the old and preparing for the new. Because tomorrow is when the new begins. New hopes, new adventures, new friends, new challenges and new memories. Goals and plans can be made. And most importantly, we can put the past behind us and make our slate clean again. Like erasing a blackboard, we are free to begin creating again, starting wherever and however we choose.
Reflecting back on 2011, it was not a terrible year, all things considered, but it was a very difficult year. Definitely one of the most difficult years of my life. I began the 2011 with getting a new puppy. Although I love him to death, house-training a puppy in an apartment building alone while working full-time is just not fun. Jesse was deployed half of the year, until July. Mom’s case went to trial in October. A month long period of constant stress and torture. Being stressed yourself is not half as bad as having to watch someone you love be put through horribly stressful and unfair situations. Mom went to jail for a short period of time. So not only was she horribly abused by my father, forced to kill him in self-defense, put through 3 years of what America calls waiting for a “speedy” trial, over a month of being on trial for murder, THEN put in jail for gun possession even after being found innocent, and now she just found out that she is going to lose her job. I guess I always thought that somehow life would re-compensate her for all she went through but I guess the old saying of “life just isn’t fair” has proven itself to be true. How much can one person go through? Like I said before, it is more difficult to watch this happen to her than it would be to go through it myself. But that’s life.
There were days this year where I was ready to give up on life. Throw in the towel. Cancel everything. Crawl under the bed and hide from the world. Hopeless and disappointed in the world and in humankind. Bitter and resentful because of it. But that was so selfish of me. I forgot to look at all of the blessings I’ve been given. A wonderful husband who loves me, two amazing puppies who treat me like the Beatles every time I come home, a family who would do anything for me, the best friends, and a world with so much opportunity. The world and the very many cruel people in it will suck you into a horrible black hole if you let it. But I’m choosing to rise above that.
And tomorrow we all get to start fresh. It is true that in a sense everyday is the start of a new year, but there is something about the ambience of New Years that really makes everything seem new and glistening with hope. There is SO much to hope for and look forward to: Mom’s appeal, my brothers wedding, Jesse finishing deploying for a while (hopefully), traveling, experiencing new things, making new friends, making new memories in the wonderful friendships I have, and the opportunity to improve someones life everyday at work.
So tonight, as the glimmering ball falls into Times Square, let’s all remember to smile. Smile for hope, smile for love, smile for all of the good in the world.
Here’s to 2012. A year better than the last.*
xx, JJ
*One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things.*
- John Burroughs
